About

Who is behind

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Hi! My name is Elisa.

portrait_elisa

I was born in 1983 in the former GDR. After spending nine years in France I’ve been living in Mallorca for two hears now. The restlessness and the stony path with so many beautiful and educative experiences made me discover some insights about life and happiness.

I met different people from different cultures and observing them in their everyday lifes I noticed one thing again and again: Instead of living their lifes, people distract themselves from the senselessness of their existence, having a very busy everyday life (and complaining about it all the time), escaping into the worlds of the Internet and television (how many hours do most of us spend watching our mobile phones, browsing the Internet or watching TV without any particular purpose?) or they meet lots of friends all the time and party hard because drugs and alcohol are a very efficient distraction, too.

And then they take that way of living for reality. Many people get depressed and think, they were sick. But in my opinion a depression is the most healthy way of reaction to this sick behaviour pattern that is rooted in all of us and which we consider “normal”. I did a psychotherapy myself with a fantastic woman and she said to me once: “Elisa, the depression is a chance.” I did not understand what she meant, because I had a different idea of “chance” than this void and this desire to throw myself under the next bus and being to afraid to do so waiting listless in my bed instead until the sweet relief of death will finally come to me.

By now, I have understood what she meant. The depression is a message from this small spark of lust for life, which wants to tell us, that something is going wrong. Everybody has to find out for themself what exactly is going wrong in their life. Sadly, most people seem to prefer to “function” as a robot in the system of our society, instead of mustering the courage to fulfil themselves. The reason for their reaction is fear. Fear of rejection by other people, fear of the unknown, fear, that there is no alternative to this “normal” life that our society proposes. But I have good news for you:

There is an alternative!

In one word I would just call it love. Almost all our fears are related to love, acceptance and recognition from other people. So we live our life afraid of losing these or frustrated, that we get never enough of them. And that is the big mistake that plunges humankind into misfortune since thousands of years: Don’t seek them in other people, but in yourself!

The simple message is: Love yourself!

That’s a sentence we all heard a lot these days and it leaves us all with the big question: But how? How can I love myself? How do I do it?

Finally, love is not something logical that you can control or decide. So how do I learn to love myself?

That’s what I want to write about in this blog to help as many of you as I can, to love yourselves, to see the world with other eyes, to go your own ways, instead of marching to the tunes of society, about which everybody seems to complain. But hey, we are the society! You want to change it? Then start with you.

I am very curious if I will reach you with my passionate plea for love and self-love in particluar (because it is the basis for the rest) and if together we can change this world, our society, ourselves a little bit.

I am looking forward to your comments, messages (E-Mail an elisa@flohbair.com) and insights.

If you want to know more about me, you can read on for small resume of my life:

How I took off to conquer the world …

The Dream

“Don’t dream your life, live your dreams.” I read this sentence written on a wall when I was a moony and shy teenager and made it my life motto. I dreamt of other wountries, shere it wasn’t so grey and gloomy as in my hometown. At least that’s how I sensed it at that time.

A few years later, I had overcome my timidity and traveled with friends and family to different places once in a while. Bulgaria, Hungary, South of France. Another few years later for the first time alone for one month to Mexico. And finally for an Erasmus exchange year to France.

France and Spain

One year had become nine years. After the exchange in Lyon, I exmatriculated from my university in Germany and moved to Toulouse, where I could continue my studies. With a Masters degree in translation in the pocket, I took off to Paris, where I started to work as a freelance translator after a depressing year as an employee in a translation agency. Five years later I packed my bags again to strike out for Spain.

The desillusion

Elisa_AlltagWhat had happened? Why did I move abroad again? I realised that I tried to escape. I tried to escape everyday life. But it follows you. It’s your most loyal companion and if you don’t like it, it’s not enough to drag it with you through the world. You have to create it yourself. Either where you live now. Or in another place you like better than your current place of residence.

So as I did for example, on a paradisiac island in the Mediterranean Sea. Where, against all expectations, I fell into a deep hole. I did not understand it. I had achieved all my dreams of travelling (Columbia, Cuba, Japan, Thailand, InterRail from Berlin to Greece, bike trip from Paris to Amsterdam), of freedom (as a freelance translator I could work whenever and wherever I wanted) and of moving abroad (France and now Spain) and I felt as lost and empty as never before. I experienced the big desillusion. This was not comfortable, but the best thing that could happen to me.

“The enlightment”

I realised that changing the outer circumstances (outside of ourselves), only makes happy in the short term. But what does make us feel happy on a long term basis? That is a good question. To which there can many answers: For example listen to our inner selves and find out, what we really need. And not one day in the future. But here and now, in the present moment. This can include aims in life and big projects as well as a hot shower, a cocktail, sun, calm, toilet paper, a hug, the feeling of being needed, lough, cry, complain, more discipline, less discipline … The small things just like big lifetime projects.

That’s where I find myself today. I try to create my everyday life. So I decided that each moring, I would first drink my coffee and eat my cereals calmly, before I switch on the computer. And I created this blog to interact and philosophise with people from different countries, to share my “wisdom” with you and to learn from your experience.  So let’s get started. Let’s create our everyday lifes together.